Thursday, April 21, 2011

Guardians of Wisdom

I'm beginning to realize that librarians don't like people. In fact, I strongly suspect that most librarians devoutly wish that the hoi polloi who insist on checking out books would depart and leave them in peace to enjoy their perfectly organized shelving system. But, if pressed, they will patiently bear with the ugsome public. (As long as they can keep the self check out machines to avoid actual interaction with the philistines.)

Can you tell that I was involved in an altercation at the library the other day? For a while I have been mildly annoyed by the library signs that imply that we patrons, like the bronze chickens that for some mysterious reason are scattered about the library, have no idea what we're doing in a public building. "We Cannot Hear You Through the Glass. Please Go to the Counter for Assistance." "Please Do Not Pull Your Reciept Out Too Quickly." "Please Don't Check Out Any Books--We Hate Reshelving Them."

Despite taking a dim view of our general intelligence, librarians seem to think that there are a few evil geniuses among us. For example, to get back my lost library card I need an I.D. Some criminal mastermind might deduce that I lost my library card and then impersonate me to get it back. Really? Come on, people. The only reason I would be asking for my lost library card would be if I was the person that had lost it!

Stupid policies irk me. I complained to two different people, going as far to say I was getting a "TSA vibe" from them. I got my own back when the tight-lipped supervisor (How dare you question my stupid policy, you plebian worm!) told me that most people drove to the library and therefore had a driver's licence on them so it wasn't a big deal to show it. I think she missed the point. It's not that it's a hard policy to follow, it's a stupid policy to follow! Librarians are supposed to be smart!

And yet, like the bronze chickens, I enjoy hanging out at the library. I also enjoy checking things out from the library. So I humbly went back out to the car to get my I.D. Criminal activity successfully thwarted. Huzzah!


Charity said...

You should read Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians by Brandon Sanderson. Then you will understand why the evil librarians are so...evil.

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