Friday, November 6, 2015

The Problem of Audience

I haven't been writing too much on the blog recently. I've been doing lots of interesting things. I took a month long emergency prep class and heard lots of crazy things. I took an 8 week behind-the-scenes look at the city I live in, hosted by the mayor's office. I took a family trip to Southern Utah filled with throw up and hiking and fun stories. I've had personal drama, I've had family drama. I have plenty to write about, and I have been writing, just not on the blog. The problem is, I don't know who's reading it.

It's fun to take a peek into people's lives through their blogs and Facebook. However, the most pressing topics on my mind have to do with religion, culture, family, and basically just conflict in general. Those are the things I think deeply about, and want to write about to try and figure them out. But the people closest to me are uncomfortable discussing those things, and I'd like to preserve my relationships with them, since they are very important to me. In addition, the older I get the more I don't want to share my deepest personal thoughts with people I don't know very well, who are also reading my blog.

Every once in a while, I'll pick up this hilariously cynical book I own called "The 48 Laws of Power," and suffice it to say, giving personal information to people is definitely discouraged by this book. Yeah, I'll save it for the journal.

About the only thing that isn't potentially offensive is trip recaps and cute pictures of kids. And I even worry about that. Some of my beloved family members want kids so badly and can't have them. I'm not one for gushing and displays of emotion, (thanks, parents) but some days I just want to post picture after picture of my precious angel baby who I love more than anything in the world, who melts me with her beautiful smiles and loves to talk to her bottle with little coos and caws and explore each little crumb on the floor, and crawl onto my feet when I'm busy so I absolutely cannot ignore her and her precious precious face.

Okay, sounding a little too Gollum-like in my obsession here. 

What I'm saying, is that I just want to write things of general interest on my blog, but I start questioning what is of general interest and start posting nothing at all. Does anyone really care that I'm potty training Charlotte this week while Austin is in Hawaii with the older girls? Or do I just have an obsession with myself and want the Internet to validate me? (Facebook, anyone?)

Here are my little fairy girls. It was hilarious watching them ring the doorbell then swarm whoever was passing out candy. 
Fairy Invasion!

See, you felt good after reading that. And I felt good, because I made you feel good.


Sara said...

I did feel good after reading that, so thank you. I have some of the same struggles sometimes (what to post/ what not to post, preserving relationships, etc.). Feel free to email me anytime. I too have an interest in conflict. I also enjoy pictures of your lovely children.

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