ASBC: Falling In Love

In Chapter 3, Ariely shares the oragami study. Short recap version: the people who made oragami artwork bid more for their creations than other people bid for them. Significantly more. We value the things we make, to the point where "we mistakenly think that others love our work as much as we do." This is why people will talk about their kids forever and I try not to, because really, does anyone care about my kids as much as I do? Of course not. I worry sometimes about sounding apathetic towards my decision to stay at home to raise my kids. But really, I enjoy saying that no one understands my children better than I do. Not even my husband.

"The effort involved in the building process is a crucial ingredient in the process of falling in love with our creations." I'd say those 9 months + childbirth were a lot of effort. I think that small babies are a lot of effort. I understand why you would look forward to returning back to work outside the home when you have on your hands a baby that sleeps, eats, poops, looks cute for a little while, then goes to sleep again. But I think the effort and service moms give during this time is as important as pregnancy in building a bond with their baby. I imagine it's true during all the formative years when you are creating a decent human being. The more effort you expend in "building" your little creations the more you fall in love with them.

I hope this makes sense because I don't have too much time...the hard drive went out on our computer so blogging may be sporadic. I hope you liked the book...I'll give you the next one in a little while.

ASBC: Sisyphus, Joe, and Chad

The Anti-Social Book Club is in session! (i.e., my book is due back at the library on Friday.)

Anyway, because I don't get a paycheck for the work I do, I liked Ariely's question, "What besides a paycheck confers meaning on work?" I also enjoyed Ariely's retelling of the legend of Sisyphus and his meaningless task. (He rolls a boulder up the mountain, almost to the top, only to see it bounce back to the bottom of the mountain again.) I identify with this doomed man. Laundry, dishes, preparing meals, general cleaning--all Sisyphean tasks.

In many ways, the "work" part of my husband and I's lives are very similar. Austin goes to banks and makes sure they are financially sound and then comes back a year later to do it all over again. I spend much of my day on repetitive tasks, only to wake up the next day and repeat the same tasks. We don't mind what we do. Some days we really like it. (Remember, I'm not talking about the "I-love-my-kids" part of parenting, just the "physical work" part of parenting.)

Remember Joe and Chad in Chapter Two? They both liked building Bionicles, but Chad's get destroyed right after he builds them. Joe builds a little longer, because the experimenters hold on to his Bionicles. Austin and I are a little like Joe and Chad: "Joe could maintain the illusion that his work was meaningful, and so continued to enjoy building his Bionicles. Chad, on the other hand, witnessed the piece-by-piece destruction of his work, forcing him to realize that his work was meaningless." I just had to laugh reading it. It was a perfect description of what happens at my house after I cook a delicious meal or clean--my family takes mere minutes to conduct a "piece-by-piece destruction of my work," eating the meal or spreading toys all over the floor. Perhaps Austin can extract more meaning from his work because his reports don't get ripped up right after he writes them.

So should I give up and stay on the sofa watching soap operas and eating bon-bons all day? Ariely gives me hope: "The translation of joy into willingness to work seems to depend to a large degree on how much meaning we can attribute to our own labor." Unless I provide a greater meaning to dishes, laundry, making meals, and general cleaning, I will become bitter, hopeless, and pessimistic about life. So, here you are: I am doing service, learning to become like Christ, making my home like the temple, providing a nurturing environment, making my home a place my family wants to spend time in, etc. I could add that I'm keeping my family healthy by cleaning, bathing, wiping bums, (kids only) and feeding them nutritious meals. However, the spiritual meanings popped into my head before the physical ones, and as those are the ones that have more of a lasting impact, I should probably focus on those.

More posts on this book coming in the next few days.